Stuck in them 20 somethings...
Good luck on them 20 somethings...
God bless these 20 somethings...
I am on a journey of self discovery + it's not as easy as I was expecting. If someone had told me that loving myself despite all my flaws was going to be this hard, I probably wouldn't have embarked on this journey to begin with. However, I'm so glad that I did! I am learning new things about myself daily + have a new outlook on life.
I wanted to go back to the old me... until I realized I was searching for a version of myself that no longer existed.
When I started this journey a few months ago, my only goal was to be happy. That was all I really wanted at the time. I was unhappy for various reasons... I had lost myself due to the choices I made + people I chose to surround myself with, lost interest in all my favorite hobbies, hated my job; the list just kept going. I wanted to go back to the old me; the happy, always positive me. Until I realized I was searching for a version of myself that no longer existed. That's when I decided I needed to recreate that happy person I once was, only this time I wanted her to be better. I wanted to love myself more + get rid of my insecurities, weed out the toxic people in my life, meet new people + find something I was passionate about. The only problem was that I didn't know how or where to start.
I began with weeding out the toxic people in my life, and I can say it was the hardest thing I had to do thus far. It's so hard to let go of people you love even when you know they add no benefit to your life. I ended a relationship that was draining me, and distanced myself from people I felt were holding me back.. and wow, what a huge difference it made! What's crazy is that it took me loving them from a distance in order to see how much of a negative impact they were having on me.
The next step in my journey was to love myself + work on getting rid of my insecurities. Not just physical insecurities, but insecurities about my character + the person I was becoming. I turned to God + began strengthening my relationship with Him. As I began praying + talking to Him more, I eventually realized that I already am everything He wants me to be. God loves me despite my many flaws + mistakes, and if God still loved me, why didn't I love myself in that same way??? While I am much closer to God + love myself more these days, I still know that I have a ways to go.
Meeting new people along this journey has helped tremendously; everyone needs a support system, right? My boyfriend has become my bestfriend and #1 supporter in everything that I do ♥ I met new people who are positive, shared similar interests + encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone (like starting a blog). Positivity spreads just as fast as negativity, and you're bound to become like the people you surround yourself with.
While I am not yet where I want to be on this journey, I am so much further than I was on day one. I am loving life way more, even on the bad days. Not to mention I am the happiest I have been in months! I refuse to go back to the girl I use to be. I'm going to continue watering myself + growing into the woman that I have the potential to be!